A review: shitdice.github.io

When I originally created ShitDice the intention was to take the piss out of all the lousy Untitled Dice scripts I had seen recently. For those of you who don’t know what Untitled Dice is; it’s essentially a blank script the owners of “MoneyPot” made for Bitcoin percentile dice gambling (roll 0 to 100, bet whether it will be higher or lower than a certain number, yadda yadda yadda). MoneyPot is a service that essentially allows you to make a frame for a gambling site, and then implement their API so that you’re not actually doing any gambling yourself, as they handle all the gambling: bankroll, calculations, etc, and give you a cut of the house edge.

Nice idea, till people realized they could try to make money with little effort by taking untitled dice and trying to make it look pretty. Shame it’s still damn obvious, and sometimes all they did was change the background!

Seeing all this made me annoyed, and therefore ShitDice was born. The worst gambling site you could imagine: a clone of Untitled Dice with a meme background that repeated about 12 times over. And I made a thread about it, and it was quite hilarious. People came on to chat to me about it, and we had some good discussions! Then the joke started to evolve.

“bits” (the currency of MoneyPot) became “ShitBits”. “Mods” became “ShitMods”, “Owners” became “ShitOwners”, and I even went and did a little bit of magic to make users (which normally have no tag) be called “ShitUsers”. The background was changed a few times. We even had a signature campaign pop up where the payment is one fresh dank meme per month! The piece of satirical art was well and truly born.

And it still remains now. In fact, over 7 BTC has been wagered so far. That’s over $2000 wagered on a site, made as a joke, hosted on github, with a total of $0.00 invested by me into it. And I learned a lot.

But let’s not forget the purpose. ShitDice is here, after all, to take the piss. Let’s keep doing that at light-speed.

Wh-wh-wh whut about pwobabwilitwy?

Let’s make this clear for a second, guys.

If you gamble, it’s based on luck. Don’t be daft, just because you lost doesn’t mean the site is rigged. In 95% of these cases the website you lost to is either:

a) A very established (usually fiat currency) gambling website that, while not provably fair, is so massive that the chance of it actually cheating you is slim to none. Though there is software that automatically does this.

b) Provably fair.

In a), if you think it’s genuinely scamming you, file a report. But you probably just have bad luck. In the situation of b), don’t waste anyone’s fucking time. Just because you don’t understand how to plug a few numbers and maybe a hash or two in doesn’t mean that the mathematics behind provably fair verification is wrong, it just means you’re a fucking dumbass.

Whoa, you lost on a 95% chance to win gamble? Well, the thing is there’s still a chance to lose. Double points for you if you lost after ~20 gambles and still think it’s unfair. No, that’s just probability you fucker. (Though I’m not encouraging the gambler’s fallacy).


The Divisibility of Bitcoin and the 21 quadrillion myth

Ask a bunch of Bitcoiners who have heard the question “Isn’t 21 million too small for a global money supply?” many times before and they will reply the following:

“A Bitcoin can be divided into 100 million parts (up to 8 decimal places) called satoshis, where one satoshi is equal to 0.00000001 of a bitcoin. Therefore if you multiply 21 million by 100 million, you get 21 quadrillion satoshis which is more than enough to sustain the world.”

The calculations are correct, but it falls flat on one bit: 21 quadrillion units aren’t enough to sustain a global monetary supply. What many people do not take into account is the different types of money supply (M0, M1, M2 and M3) along with the fact that most currencies are not just divisible by (usually) 100 but technically divisible by an infinite amount because most of our money supply is virtual. Numbers in a bank account. Unlike Bitcoin, where right now, the divisibility of Bitcoin is fixed.

And the amount of money globally is still massive, anyway. Not only do you have many currencies which are worth a fraction of a US dollar, here are some figures (grabbed from Gizmodo as of 2013) on M0 – M3:

  • M0: US $5 trillion (physical money)
  • M1: US $25 trillion (M0 + things like checking accounts)
  • M2: US $60 trillion (the main figure, M0+M1+savings accounts, CDs under $100k, etc.)
  • M3: US $75 trillion (more abstract – M0+M1+M2+money market funds, etc.)

As you can see, that’s already 7.5 quadrillion cents alone. And that’s for the US dollar. In countries which are much poorer, have a weak currency or both, you can easily exceed 21 quadrillion. Look at the Mexican Peso, currently trading for 1 Peso at US $0.06. There are currencies worth less than this, too. The Peso is also divisible by 100, and 7.5 quadrillion / 0.06 gives you 125 quadrillion, much more than our figure of 21 quadrillion.

So sure, 21 quadrillion satoshis will be enough if you want to have a barely functioning monetary system in the richest countries such as the US and UK without much extra divisibility (I should note this post assumes you want to remain onchain and not use offchain services). But if you want to cater to all countries, we’ll have to change sooner or later. Luckily, we will be able to quite easily, and not by much. A change to 9 decimal places gives us 210 quadrillion of the smallest unit of Bitcoin, a change to 10 decimal places gives us 2.1 quintillion of the smallest unit. That is probably more than enough.

But we will have to change eventually, so if you think otherwise, then sorry. Bitcoin won’t remain how it started forever, princess.

Bitcoin, Decentralisation, BIP101, Coinbase and Hypocrisy

I don’t recommend you read this post unless you are familiar with Bitcoin, the ideals behind it regarding the decentralised network, and the BIP (Bitcoin Improvement Proposal) papers published so far (at least BIP100 and BIP101).

There is a level of hypocrisy inside of the Bitcoin community that has unfortunately begun to take it over recently. For those unaware of what has happened, Coinbase came out with heavy support for the BIP101 proposal.

I need to preface this by saying that one of the main ideals behind Bitcoin is that the decision-making is supposed to be decentralised. The community and those who run the full nodes (which can ideally be anyone) make the decisions, not large companies.

So, if the community makes the decisions, we should not be forced by large companies or even pressured into making a decision they want. BIP101 has been endorsed by multiple large Bitcoin companies, mostly payment processors because of course a higher transaction volume will benefit them. They will make more money from fees. They aren’t looking out for your best interests, they just want profit. And we have a problem when they also (mostly Coinbase) have wallets, a massive amount of nodes, and a massive amount of influence to start getting people to switch over to BIP101. We may not have a choice if it goes too far, and then decentralisation has been lost. The dream is over.

Unfortunately, when theymos decided to ban promotion of BIP101 in /r/bitcoin until consensus is reached, a lot of people blindly started circlejerking against him in the usual crypto-anarchist fashion. Discussion of BIP100 vs BIP101 and so on was never banned. The only thing banned was promoting what is effectively currently an altcoin. XT is not Bitcoin as of right now. That is a fact. If we allow Coinbase to push us into this decision, we have given up decentralisation and handed the decision-making keys to the large companies just like how large companies constantly lobby the US government and are constantly successful.

The Bitcoin community astonishes me with how much hypocrisy it manages to spew out. You want decentralisation of the moderation and think it’s censorship, but you start circlejerking and spam upvoting things in favour of Coinbase making decisions for us, and then going over to the XT subreddits et alii? You go to an exodus over to forums and subreddits where the people who run it are mostly owners of corporations in support of these protocols trying to make the decisions for us? Where is your fucking logic? Is there any?

If we reach consensus the way it’s supposed to happen, BIP101 is fine (though personally I think the growth rate is suicidal for full nodes and will centralise the network – funny how we’re being pushed to centralisation from a centralised source.). But if you, in your anger, circlejerk us into being ruled by the large Bitcoin companies, Bitcoin is dead. The dream is over.

Come on. We want to be decentralised, but we’re sitting there while the large companies write “industry letters” to effectively lobby for what they want? And you circlejerk in their support?


All Right-Wingers are Fascists, all Left-Wingers are Communists

I’m sorry, but how sad does your life have to be when you spend most of your time sitting on a shit-quality tabloid article that happens to be related to politics blurting out random crap you saw in your local heavily left or right-wing newspaper that is approximately 99% based in opinion? But you see these people on every single site.

In the UK, you either see extreme right-wingers who think tax should be abolished and immigrants should be forced to leave the country on these comment sections, or extreme left-wingers who believe anyone who earns above a penny a millennia should be subjected to a 200% tax rate plus their left testicle and their first-born son. In the US, you either see extreme right-wingers who believe the same plus an extra bit of patriotism and FREEDOM (generally people who vote for Trump – if you’re voting for Trump, fuck off my blog), or extreme left-wingers who also believe the same (well, if reddit is to believed, these people mainly circle-jerk about Bernie Sanders).

I mean, ignoring the fact that the general public mostly has no idea how economics work anyway (shock horror, we need taxation to pay for shit, but shock horror, if you tax “all da evil richies” too much they’re going to fuck off because there’s a point where it gets unfair), I don’t think anyone actually does any proper research into issues. Of course, you have those who are actually fairly well-educated, or even those who aren’t but can still be bothered to do research, but the vast majority are just fucking idiots. And, y’know, that’s a problem when the same vast majority also hold the vast majority of voting power due to their sheer size.

That’s the great thing though, who you vote for doesn’t count as the parties generally don’t tell the truth about what they’re going to do anyway. But that’s a post for another day! My rant is over for today. Bye.

The UK and it’s obsession with the EU

I absolutely love the general public of the UK and their inability to sift through the useless stream of bullshit about the EU. Well, not really.

As a Brit, the stance of most people in the UK is fucking disappointing to me. It’s just shit. The media paints a fucking scapegoat picture of how we put all this money into the EU, and how this is apparently sent into a vacuum in order to feed Romanian widows with 5 children. Let’s not mention the talk about how we’re giving all our governmental power to the EU. Might as well throw in a fucking mention of Sharia law while we’re at it, just to rile up the public a little bit more.

They aren’t even bad points, some of them. Some of them are legitimate. Immigration that has controls too loose can be bad, but in 2014 UCL (and they’re a damn good university!) stated that immigration had resulted in the UK government being £20bn better off and saving a further £6bn or so in immigration. We’re not losing to the fucking immigrants, they’re helping us. It’s all the British chavs with 10 children smoking pot you should be pissed at.

*GASP*. The enemy is in our own ranks? But no! We must continue to be racist! enter UKIP– But that’s another story. Not that the party itself is inherently racist – I don’t think good ol’ Nigel Farage is a racist! Unfortunately, most of UKIP’s supporters are. As is poetically shown by the woman in this interview clip.

But fuck me, don’t you realize how much the EU helps? Ever went to a country outside of the EU and compared it to going to a country inside of the EU? The EU means to go on holiday to an EU state, all you gotta do is flash your passport like a hooker flashing her tits and you’re in. The increased trade links have helped us all. The EU has supported the UK’s industries, it’s not as if we pay in an arbitrary amount and get none of it back. You are allowed to go and work anywhere in the EU.

And here’s the problem. Show a good fuckin’ argument, and they just piss it away. I’ve shown this argument before, only to have responses from someone who clearly hasn’t bothered to read the fucking argument. Responses ranging from “It is a. Costly club with NO benefits! Think.”, showing that the person in question first does not have a proper grasp of full stops and can not actually think nor read what the aforementioned benefits are. Then we have the respondent who is probably some senile man who still thinks ethnic minorities should be slaves, stating that in 40 years of membership they have literally seen “no benefits”. Fuck off, I just told you a bunch.

I’ve also seen these arguments that call for *GASP* reform and not an exit, “bonkers”, “silly”, and “unthoughtful”. Jesus Christ. Maybe if you fucking thought for a second yourself, unless you want to be in a world without all the benefits I mentioned before.




This is the humorously named “Sarcastic Website with Arbitrary Goals”, or SWAG for short. While I’d love to tell you that it’s going to be a blog website where we will be a bastion of hope and shine throughout the earth, that’s not what this will be.

This site is going to disembowel everything just because I can. It’s going to disembowel propaganda, take the piss out of the media, and attempt to get rid of whatever dumb concepts you have in your brain, because I’m sure you have lots of them (don’t worry, we all do!), and hopefully in a fashion that doesn’t portray me as a 500lb man with a flowing neckbeard and a golden fedora. As much as I’d love that, it just ain’t happening.

We’ll take the piss out of the US, the UK, China, Japan, North Korea, and even go to things as little as that small shop a few blocks away from you and why it’s not such a nice thing. So strap on, for the most intense ride of your life a mediocre and slightly humorous representation of public affairs. And foreign affairs. And some other shit too.

Y’know, with SWAG.